4 Steps to Embracing the BRAVE in Your Fresh Start
No matter how you look at it, starting over is brave.
Even if you feel forced into it because of life’s circumstances or mistakes you’ve made, you still have to be courageous and committed to make the tough decisions and changes necessary to begin again.
Fresh starts can be overwhelming, scary, and exciting at the same time. All the unknowns and unanswered questions can make the future feel daunting and lonely. But what pushes you forward is that glimmer of hope. A hope that reminds you there’s something better in what’s next.
Your new beginning can be where you create the life you want, make choices you wouldn’t have made back then, and overcome what may be one of the most challenging moments of your life.
I’ve probably had a dozen fresh starts in my life, and I’m sure if you think about it, you have too. Maybe you had to start over when you left a toxic relationship or got sober. Or perhaps you lost your job, started your own business, or lost your business. Or maybe you had a health scare or were diagnosed with an illness that demanded a complete overhaul of your diet and lifestyle. No matter how big or small, complicated or exciting your fresh start is, it can be an opportunity to develop personally, spiritually, physically, and professionally.
Here are four simple steps to bravely face your fresh start:
Step #1: Reflect, but focus on the opportunity:
A surefire way to stay stagnant when starting over is to hyper-focus on the negative - the things that went wrong or you would’ve done differently.
I hear you, though.
All fresh starts involve sacrifice and loss to some degree. You need to feel all the feelings and give yourself grace. It’s important to reflect and grieve, but getting to a place of acceptance is critical. Don’t spend so much time looking in the rearview mirror that you can’t see the bright lights ahead. There is hope in healing. And with hope comes opportunities to grow and change.
Step #2: Examine who you are and what you believe.
When I was 29, I found freedom from a decade-long addiction that could have killed me. As the fog cleared, I didn’t know how to live, who I was, or where I belonged. I had to start over completely and begin a new journey to understanding myself. And I’m still on that journey today. As you embark on your fresh start, examine your heart. Where do you find your identity? What are your values? What brings your soul peace and satisfaction? What are your gifts and talents that you can share with the world? The answers to those questions can give you the courage and confidence to move forward.
Step #3: Reach out to trusted people for support.
A fresh start can be a lonely and isolating place, especially if you have to make a clean break from certain people or places that were once a big part of your life. Find a friend, family member, mentor, or therapist you trust to share your struggles, fears, and excitement. The most important thing here is to find someone who encourages and supports you (and is happy for you!) as you start new.
Step #4: Believe in yourself.
It can be way easier to be critical of ourselves and doubt our ability to change than to believe we CAN change. Worry and anxiety can be crippling, but if we let them control us, we’d never leave the house. So, show up for your fresh start, even if you don’t feel ready. I can tell you from experience, you’ll never feel 100% ready, but it’s important to move forward. Face your fears and be open to all the new people, experiences, and opportunities your fresh start will give you.
+++
So much of life is out of our control, and the circumstances leading up to starting over might be entirely out of your hands. But in that quiet moment when you consider taking that next step: accepting the new job, leaving the relationship, not taking the drink, focusing on your health, starting your business - you have control! You get to decide to look back or move forward. You can choose to push past the fear, take back your power, look ahead and find your brave.
